Forgiveness

I was watching Oprah the other day (I really like her show although most of the people I know- don't, or let's say most of the guys i know- dont)... but anyway between all the things that happen in my daily life -running to work and coming back for a fast lunch then going to Deutsche course or going out- I still have time to catch up some of the parts of her show or if lucky then the whole thing.

I came to this part (which was unfortunately the ending) -- a young girl hugged this man, and was telling the audience that she reached this point in her life where she believed that she must forgive to live! I wish I know the whole story and the reason for what she said (so if anyone knows please tell me)... And then i thought how little her words are, yet very effective... so true!

The first thing that crosses the mind for most of the people who had a bad experience or who went through rough times would be REVENGE! What a tough strong scary word!
But this is so normal...especially for people who's still in the shock phase!

I believe there are many phases... first comes DENIAL which is the worst; it's when you refuse to live your present thinking that this will all go away and keep hoping it will change... praying that life goes back to normal again! And then after a while when you start to realise that you can't keep hoping... that the situation is simply hopeless, you reach the shock phase which i have mentioned earlier!

Shock phase is when you think of the one and only thing (REVENGE)... it's often accompanied with self hatred! You will be a stranger to your own self -you'd see yourself as a victim yet you get those bad ideas about getting revenge and this would only make you hate yourself becuase you are supposed to be this kind loving person who's turning to a monster, a new you -a desperate pathetic you!

And so many questions will start popping, so much thinking! Why do I pay back in kind when others hurt me? How can I live in peace? How can I leave the payback to others?

When you have faith that payback will happen one day, if not now then later, and when you admit and accpet that sometimes things don't happen the way you expect... and accept the present by thinking of a brighter future... with a stop yearning for the past, then this is a start of a new level - moving from this phase to forgivness. (which is the cure for all pains and the real recovery).

Forgiveness is about freeing yourself from the past and its burden, it's simply -moving on! It's the only line that separates between past and present... it's more like a gift you give to yourself... a way to get inner peace!
It dares you to imagine a better future, one that is based on the blessed possibility that your hurt will not be the final word on the matter. It challenges you to give up your bad thoughts about the situation and to believe in the possibility of a better future. It builds confidence that you can survive the pain and grow from it.

So when that girl said I realised that I should forgive to live... she passed all the phases and was at that stage where she believed that moving on would never happen unless it's accompanied by forgivenss.

For those of you who had bad experiences or is trying to move on, the only key to do this is to FORGIVE. 'FORGIVE TO LIVE'