Simply ME...

A star or a rainy cloud,,, realistic or a dreamer,,, tough or emotional,,, a butterfly or a dolphin,,, it is all about me reflecting the transparent me!

Sunday, October 29, 2006

The most romantic thing.!.!

I had a talk with a friend today...

- What was the most romantic thing you've ever done for a girl?
+ I told her how I felt....!!!!

You can imagine the look on my face after this, ummm so guys-, can't you just be a little bit creative and more imperssing... for a change!? :)

Saturday, October 28, 2006

shopping for girls always ==> a better mood

This, I can't really explain.. why and how but it's definitely true! ALWAYS!
So when a girl feels down she just runs to the mall.. and it doesn't matter what she needs, she would be looking for nothing in particular... when a girl shops, it'd be for fun, not out of need,,,
no matter how many jackets she has or how many skirts, shoes, bags... etc , it wouldn't make a difference...

Whenever Im away, i'd always think- this is it.. i'll do my shopping and come back with everything so that I would be able to do some control after each trip... but it's just different, when you're away you shop because it's part of the trip! It's what comes with the whole package.. when you're back you'd think there's something missing! A girl goes to a mall minmum once every month.. and in this one time she can spend up to half of what she earns!

Now to control this, I believe she has to either buy a car, so that she'll end up doing the payments each month with no other choice... or,,, she should stop going to the malls... which also depends on her mood... bad moods for girls always ==> spending money!

Friday, October 27, 2006

Science in Miss J's World

Check this out... it's a post written by a dear friend, after a talk we had today... it's hilarious! But oh so true...

Jmalli's Theory

... till the end

picture taken by and life goes on...®

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

unanswered Qs

if things don't happen the way you planned or imagined -what would you do? if you'd be living a big pink dream and all of a sudden you realize it was nothing but a horrible lie created and was growing in an imaginary world and you wake up to the harsh reality to find out that dreams rarely come true...

And people say things happen for the best... no matter how bad you feel or how shitty you feel -things happen for the best..and everything happen for a reason! But would you really be able to see the bright side when nothing seems to be right?

Would you be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel?
Would you be able to enjoy the brightness of the stars and to feel the heat of the sun when the sky looks dark and everything goes silent!

But what if you can't find any bright side?! what if things don't turn out to be for the best after all.. what if it's just a sentence you keep on saying and everyone keep on repeating as a way to be distracted from seeing what's there... the unbearable!

what if with each time it takes you to hear this sentence 'things happen for the best' there's a huge warm part of you that goes dead, cold and numb and there's no way to make it go back to what it was... you can't fix what's broken... you can try, struggle, and put so much energy but it's just broken.. deep inside your heart and mind you'll always know that it was once broken and because of that it can get broken easily again and again and again...

To talk, it's easy... but to apply what's said you need strength.. and if you don't have any left then you just go back to talking.. you hope that talk can get you to act at one point or another!
And it's said that each mistake make you learn something.. or at least would happen so that you'd know it's a mistake and mistakes should never be repeated... but one might do the same mistake again just to prove that things might work differently and that this time it's different.. if i give more it'd be different or maybe if i give less it'd be different.. and you'd be in this mess forever just to realise that mistakes are mistakes.. they don't mean anything else... not now,,, not ever!

Sometimes you'd just turn all your senses down and refuse to LISTEN, to SEE, to THINK... you'd ignore all the clear signs, when there would be many and if you are from the challenging ones then you'd get more joy in going on and insisting that you are right and everyone else is wrong! It's like a game, either you win and prove that you're right or you lose and just give up to the fact that everyone was right from the beginning and you shoud've LISTENED or at least paid more attention to the signs and just thought about them for a while instead of pushing them far away in an attempt to ignore!

if you live to give support to others and tell them to be strong and tell them what to do and what not to do to survive would it mean that you are ok? would it mean that you are happy and wise or is it just a mask that you build and a shell to protect that little weak thing inside you so that others wouldn't see the real you...? would making others believe in hope means that you believe in it?

Yet the closest to your heart might be the ones who hurt you the most.. the ones who don't appreciate you enough.. the ones who give you every reason to be depressed... the ones who make you feel down when everyone around make you feel special... would making people feel bad about themselves help you to gain power? Would it make you feel better when making others feel down? Would their tears make your heart dance? Or is it just a way to show that no matter what you do they'd be there for you and again this would make you gain more and more power?

Would hurt be justified as a way of love? Would jealousy mean love? would possesivness be one type of love? if not .. then what is love? It's something you can never find a definition for as each one shows it in a different way, his unique way that makes him special... that makes him unforgettable!... this is why sometimes you hear the phrase ' i loved you with all my heart but in my own way'...

Sometimes you wake up and all of a sudden you just feel you're missing something.. and you're just not complete.. it's like you've been in a really long trip trying to find out what you want or what you miss or what would make you satisfied but with no result and then you'd be more confused... and you'd end up having all the unanswered questions again! what do I want? where do I want to go? what do I want to achieve? who do i miss the most? what can i do for a change? i need a major change.. but how... what... where? would a change make me happy? what is happiness?

And then you have to chose.. either you start to walk and continue from where you stopped, holding your head high (and this reminds me of something funny that one of my friends said to me... hold your head high, you are beautiful!xxx )- I wish it's this easy, but anyway nice try :)!... or you'd just live in the past, and keep thinking what if... what if i did things differently.. what if it was my mistake... what if i wasn't there, didn't do so, learned from my mistakes... so it's up to you to decide!! and it's up to you to go on with building this shell as a result to the fact that it's the only thing you can do to protect yourself from future failures... it's all in your hands.. because no one else would do that for you! Only you...

*Last two pictures are taken by and life goes on...®*

Monday, October 23, 2006

My Favorites

Those pictures are from my 'favorites' collection ... they were taken in Munich on the way to and back from the famous hill which helps you to discover the whole area... airport, departing and landing flights...

The 4th one gives the feeling of a new start... a fresh new start !

Those ones give me a peace of mind... a 'looking forward' to a much better future
pictures taken by and life goes on...®

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Can you see what freaked me out... ??!

This freaked me out big time when I was in Munich... please when looking at the picture keep in mind that this was taken from a 300 or more stairs up to a high tower that looks down to a church yard- and that was on Sunday,, they had this special show going on... in the middle of the circle where people are gathering... the tower itself was so scary and has a two- way narrow stair case that hardly fits for one...

* click on it for a better and bigger view*

The tower looks like this from the inside...

pictures taken by and life goes on...®

Thinking of a place to spend your vacation?

It shoud be Munich... I just loved it! It's a magical city, where you can see both, the old and the new... the cultrue is there with beautiful old buildings and long towers and the new is still there with the all the shops... you'd end up enjoying both your shopping and all the great huge old interesting buildings...

It's nothing like i've ever seen before and you definitely can't compare it with Frankfurt.

It's one of the cities i've enjoyed the most, it has a different taste and unique style of its own.

This trip got me closer to where i want to be- discovering myself...
taking decisions and not waiting for others to do them for me.

I enjoyed everything about it.. especially the part that has to do with meeting my great close friends - Yuki and Cristina- Happy Birthday Cristina- wishing you the best, I had a great time.. hope we'll meet again... sometime.

The only annoying thing was that we didn't have enough time for shopping ... it was only few hours and there were so many nice winter (cheap ) clothes .. yes, imagine cheap! But i didn't have time.. im so impressed with the things i got with such a little time...

I've learnt that in China you can say the same word but with different meanings.. depending on the tone!!!

The tone plays a big part in the meaning... and I also came back with many chinese ringtones!

Thank you Yuki- I hope you were able to catch your flight back home and didn't have to wait another night in Frankfurt.

The joke of this trip was when we were
given our boarding passes, everyone was on board and i took my seat, i even turned off my mobile, stretched my legs, and had the pillow behind my head planning to sleep, when we heared the captain saying ' Ladies and Gentlemen, if you are heading to Amman you need to leave this flight immediately, as the one who were in charge to show you the way made a mistake and instead of taking you to the bus that will take you to your flight, you are on a flight that is leaving to ATHENS!!!' . That was hilarious, they offloaded the flight, and if it wasn't for a guy who suspected that there's something wrong with his seating because he requested a bulk head seat and was given a normal one, no one would have known what happened and we'd be in Athens right now! Too bad!
But that was not so bad after all as I had an arab gentleman (who said arabs are not) carrying my carry on bag the whole way :)

All in all, that was a great trip, i'd definitely love to go to Munich again.

I'll leave you now with the pictures... CHECK them OUT! all of them.. it's worth it...

pictures taken by and life goes on...®

Saturday, October 14, 2006

To Munich

Im flying to Munich tomorrow night on a duty trip, and I am so excited... flying for me is like breathing! It's the one thing i appreciate most about my job, as I have a 2 years schengen visa and a ticket ready for me.. and the rest is easy to plan for with all the discounts I get on hotels etc...(in case i decide to fly on a vacation)

It's the only time im all alone, and it's so healthy... the time when I can relax for a change... I feel the minute i step into the plane I turn to a different person, a more confident one... I would even be a stranger to my own self... I'd be more responsible,,, more ummm... it's hard to describe it but it would definitely be someone else... I walk with confidence and elegance (esp with the fact that we have to fly dressing formally or otherwise we'd be downgraded, which- in my opinion- is stupid and silly)!... I remember the first time i had to fly alone i was horrified.. and thought it's the end of the world! I was obsessed in making sure that I have everything with me... and keep cheking for the money, passport and all the documents I need.. I remember feeling so lonely and scared!

Not knowing how I would manage or where to go after getting out of the plane.. and just trying 'as i was taught' to look for the 'baggage claim' sign or follow anyone with a familiar face- who would be in the same flight with me. The first times, i remember walking in the airport with the 'help' look all over my face... and being close to calling my parents every single hour!

The first time I had to stay for a 'two weeks' course i was so homesick, that i seriously thought of cutting the course and going back home... it was something i never want to go through again! it's the worst feeling ever! and then with each course i've learnt to adapt...the secret lays beneath learning the art of adaption! ive learnt that when you fly with the intention of having fun and enjoying your time and putting everything else behind then you won't have any problems, even if you stand in the middle of 20 strangers from all over the world, you'd simply see it as a rare opportunity to make new friends.

In Amman's airport I get to the duty free- this is my favorite part, to check what's there, then i do my phone calls and wake up the people i know from the business lounge... after that I sleep the whole flight listening to music, and I only open my eyes when landing.. ! it'd be a new day with a new start! The weather thing sometimes freaks me out.... it happens so often that i check the internet and it says it's warm, though the minute i get there it starts raining.. but well i miss the rain... and it's just different, even if it's raining it won't be as cold as it gets here..

But there's only one thing that annoys me... and I guess will always stay this way! It's when I get out and see that there's no one waiting for me... it'd feel a little bit strange.. but this time it's different! And im so looking forward to it.. this time im meeting my friends.. and they will be there waiting for me in the arrivals- .. so I'd have someone to hug and someone to smile to when im out... I can't wait!

I won't say how long i'll stay there... i like it more this way... but keep checking my blog, as there will be many photos to come ... many photos taken in MUNICH...!

pictures taken by and life goes on...®

Friday, October 13, 2006

School's Reunion

We had a great school's reunion yesterday
Whoever came up with such an idea, he did a great job

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Feeling Down?!?

This is something that can always cheer me up, wherever I am ... whatever I do... and no matter how shitty I feel...

It's an amazing comic book, that reflects what happens in real life but in a very funny way...
It talks about child-raising... all the funny things that children do,,, and all the funny ways parents react to weird unexpected behaviors... !

It features a well-meaning but know-nothing dad, a long-suffering mommy who smiles graciously through clenched teeth, and - the big stars of the strip - Zoe, the precicous, smart but spoiled rotten brat in red ponytails and Ham, the pin-headed baby of the whole family with a personality to match his name!

The drwaings are so detail oriented.. the colors are so bright,,, you can't help but smile...

pictures taken by and life goes on...®

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Things I miss from Childhood (Tagged)

This is the first time I got tagged,,, and it was from Qwaider

What 5 things do you miss about your childhood?

* Family activities
The way we used to do something with parents every thursday night and make big plans for our fridays. When we used to get ready for my dad to get back from work and take us to the park, to play on swings and slopes... up to the time when they bought us ones.
When we used to go to my grandparents house, make a big gathering with all the cousins, fuss and noise.. we used to take our pjs sometimes and sleep over, play cards and wake up to the sounds of horns... then having boiled eggs for breakfast made by my grandma and 7alova for lunch..

* Listening to Fayrouz in the pool
This is one thing i'll never forget, I miss going to the pool early in the morning as soon as my dad leaves to the clinic, and spending all day long there... fayrouz' songs are stuck in the memory with the burning sun esp (teery ya tiyyara teery,,,ya wara' o kheetan.. bidy arja3 bint isgheereh...3ala sat7 il jeeran)... I miss the smell of the french fries and eating our meals on the grass... i miss the times we used to fight and make bets on who can jump higher, make the funniest jump... or the messiest one while trying to get as much water as possible out...

* Majed
I miss the times when my dad used to get us Majed ( i wonder if anyone remember this one), and all the times he used to get two of the same edition... so as me and my sister won't fight over who will read it first...

* Camping
This is the one thing i miss the most! I miss buying the camping equipments, bag packs and sleeping bags... torches, everything that has to do with it and to get really into it (a3eesh il dor), wearing army clothes, doing all the craziness,,, whatever I want and being comfortable with it, without anyone thinking that it's silly... carrying my money in a green small army thing that sticks to my belly... oh i really miss those days!

* I miss the simplicity of life back then.. everything was different, more enjoyable...the way we used to use the piano- me and my little sister as a barbie house, or the times when we used to use our 'creativity' in designing some really cool costumes... the way we used to paint our face... it was all amazing!

This is too much !!!

- You need 15000 points to get a free ticket to Europe...
+ aha, hard luck! Too bad! This means I can't fly to London with the 15000!

- No, this means you can, since London is in Europe.
+ oh I see.. but what about Geneva?!!!!

Ok, I can handle the situation if she stopped after the first question... but with the second one to follow.. no, this is crazy! This is definitely too much! more than I can handle...

Saturday, October 07, 2006

I wish...

There are many times when I wish the tape rolls back and im that little school girl... whose main concern was to get the 99% printed on her certificate every month of every year...
and then the journey gets more enjoyable as the summer comes closer and that girl would be busy thinking of a reward for the 99. Just to notice with time that the 99 holds no meaning anymore.. and it's just something the parents expect... it's nothing sepcial and no big deal! A routine...

I wish I can get back to the old days when the biggest most creative outing would be going to my 'best friend''s house and sepnding the time reading some magazines, sharing secrets and talking about future dreams.
The time when you can dream as much as you want without anyone ruining it by reminding you of the reality.
Sharing thoughts about the one coming riding on a white horse... about lots and lots of fun... listening to music, laugh and dream.

I wish I can get back to that time when I had peace of mind... when there was nothing else, just me and my dreams! To that shy little girl who went to an international camp and was scared to death of meeting new people, and talking to people who are out of her school's circle... of that little girl who used to hide in the tent just because she didn't want to talk to 'Matthew'... didn't know how to act or what to say to the first guy who showed some interest... it makes me smile! I wish i can go back there...

I wish I can go back to that time when I was preparing to play with an orchestra.. and had my parents there waiting for me, proud of me... or when I had a rehearsal with a band every monday night...

I wish I can go back to that time when it was all about me... when i was selfish, when i cared for no one but me... when I camped, when i hiked, when i canoed, when i kayaked, when i caved, when i had the army clothes and the sleeping bag and had nothing but a peace of mind...

I wish I can get back to the old days, when I had nothing to lose, and nothing to be scared of... when i was not scared of the future and when i had nothing but to enjoy the present.

I wish I could go back in time, and have a different life with different choices... to be stronger and to learn not to be as much emotional.

I wish I can dream again... without anyone to stop me!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

My story with cats!!!

As I was trying to get to the house, I saw this big fat cat blocking the way... it was giving me those sounds and this look that says it all... the cat was hungry! And with Ramadan's atmosphere all around us, I thought why not! It would be super sweet to get her some meat.

As soon as I stepped out with the meat, there were three cats attacking me!!! So me running all the way back to the door was not funny at all... i'd accept it if they were close but attacking me... no, that was too much...

And now everytime im out the cats of the whole neighborhood would accompany me wherever i go ... it's so annoying... I wish they just leave me alone and i really wish i didn't give away any meat!! They are everywhere... even under the car!

The funny thing is that they just pause for my pictures... and totally enjoy it!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

My new Header Image

I love it... it's mine!!!! mine....!!!

picture taken by and life goes on...®

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


Try to go to Ctown or Safeway anytime after 2 - before 3.30 and I bet you wouldn't find a place to park your car...

Ramadan makes people crazy, thinking and dreaming of food.. what to eat for iftoor... what to eat after iftoor..
I reached the point where a long fasting day would make me eat everything at the same time... atayef with rice and fatoush and soup... all mixed with chocolate, dates, pepsi and juice..

anything that comes to my mind during the day... and this all happens at the same time... not waiting for my stomach to digest.. Not giving myself a chance to breath...

The good thing is that I believe fasting is getting easier as you get used to it... you get used to the fact that you have to wait till 6.30! First day was the hardest especially for people who are used to a cup of nescafe first thing in the morning- to start a day and to wake up... hopefully it'll get much easier when we get closer to the end of the month ...

Monday, October 02, 2006

Increasing Confidence 2- Philippa Davies

- Experience is the best teacher; the most experience you have the more confident you will become.
- Failure can build lasting confidence by turning it to a learning opportunity and a chance to improve.
No one tastes true success by living a very safe, uneventful existance.

- Analyze the reasons behind your insecurities and move from an emotional response to a more reasoned one.
- Confidence building requires a high level of self motivation. Make a commetment to change and to overcome fears that have held you hack, visualise success, and develop the positive frame of mind you need in order to rise to the challenges ahead and put the past behind to get off a good start.

- Overcoming your fears becomes easier once you know exactly what it is that you are afraid of.
- When emotions and imagination are engaged on a task, you are much more likely to succeed. (If you are to improve your social skills ===> draw yourself in the middle of a crowd of people, smiling, laughing, and looking entirely at ease).

- When building confidence, you need the kind of people who will encourage and support you around. People who help you achieve your goals, make you feel good about yourself, cheer you up when you are down, encourage and inspire you. You should also learn how to deal with unsupportive individuals who have a negative attitude.

- It is not so much our friends' help that helps us as the confident knowledge that they will help us.
- Seeing your weaknesses as strengths:
Impatience ==> Dynamism
Laziness ==> Relaxed Attitude
Stubborness ==> Strength of Mind
Shyness ==> Sensitivity

- Moving forwards constructively: Difficult situations and unhappy memories of the past need to be laid to rest if you are to move forwards confidently. (Try to find positive aspects of a negative experience, learn your lessons and then move on).

- Always be a first - rate version of yourself instead of a second - rate version of somebody else.

- When someone has more talent than you, that does not make them a better person. You have your own unique talents and qualities.

-In interacting with others, asking questions promotes a more relaxed state of mind as so is looking for a common ground with other people.

- Body langauge is more important than words in terms of first impressions. According to research we make up our minds about people in the first four minutes based 55% on visual signals, 38% on auditory signals, and 11% only on words.