Simply ME...

A star or a rainy cloud,,, realistic or a dreamer,,, tough or emotional,,, a butterfly or a dolphin,,, it is all about me reflecting the transparent me!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

I still can't get over the fact that my dad is following me on TWITTER! I am beyond shocked. I remember when I first created an e-mail account for him.. that was just like yesterday! No actually he started with the computer games, and then an e-mail account (so that he can get cool e-mails with some new photos from me and others for my niece), and then after that he went a level higher by replying back and forwarding some of the attachments he keep getting from the hospitals!

They definitely make me happy.. not that they are interesting.. but what really matters is me seeing his name in my inbox! It makes me want to give him a big big big hug.

They look so cute- mom and dad- I mean when he clicks on the 'download all attachments' and he calls her to check out the photos we send him. I used to love this part.. those were moments to treasure forever.

I wanted to see what's so special about twitter and twittering, so an invitation was sent automatically to all the e-mails I have in my account, and apparently my dad was one of them.

Today I got an e-mail saying Dr Faris is following you on twitter. And I was like WHAT!!!

I think his next step would be/should be facebook. Let's see! Oh I am so loving and missing you dad. I miss everything about you.. especially those funny unexpected things you do!!!

Saturday, March 28, 2009


Now that I am job hunting and looking for all the possibilities.. I keep hearing the same question 'Why don't you become a lecturer at the university?', I find this surprising and shocking at the same time.
The other day we met this guy who was telling me that his cousin is a lecturer now, he came here and didn't know what to do.. so he said why not!
People are addressing the issue as if it is the easiest job on earth, when I find it the total opposite. I don't think lecturing is something you would consider just for the sake of money, convenience, or not knowing what to do!

Well it's not. I remember being a student myself and thinking badly of those who are there to lecture but have no real passion for teaching.. those who see the whole thing no more than reading some words typed on a power point slide.. those who come and go but with no real influence. Those who don't make a difference.. and I wouldn't allow myself to be one of them.

So just stop making it look as if it's the easiest thing on earth.. don't talk about the pay or the short hours .. stop the bullshitting. I hate lecturers who are there for those reasons! I will definitely not be one of them.

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Many people were disappointed that I am back, this far, and this absent from whatever is happening back there.
I got this message from a very dear person, saying that he's mad at me cause 'they are losing me'.. and deep inside I know that many others feel the same way, even if they don't say it this bluntly.

But then it hit me.. I wrote back saying that by being away I can miss and love them back more. Cause I lived the life where I was there yet I was down. And couldn't be part of their lives.. couldn't enjoy what was happening, so I hated myself for that. I was aggressive, unhappy and very lonely even with them around. I felt there is a change in me.. but I don't know why or how did I reach that level of being so indifferent. I had mixed confusing inner conflicts.. I was close yet I felt so far...

I can only be happy for others and be myself again when I am happy. And the answer for that does not necessarily mean by being close. Distance is not everything. For all those who are away now and feel they're missing what's happening back there.. distance is not everything.

Monday, March 23, 2009

color your bike

I would enjoy something like this..

Saturday, March 21, 2009

old ladies and the bus

You don't want to get close to them. They can be weird in a funny way.. As I was just getting on the bus the other day, I felt a strong push.. no actually it was as if I was pulled out.. and to my surprise, that was coming from an old lady - wearing everything in pink even the hat - and she was like .. 'EXCUSE ME, I was here first'!

I mean if you were here first how come you're pulling me out after showing up from no where.

And then again, as I was sitting in this super crowded bus, an old lady found a seat next to me. I had to get off after two stops.. but it was almost impossible in a crowded bus and with an old lady knitting! Yes, she was actually knitting with her wool all over the place.. and a big white board to learn the different knitting knots!!!

Friday, March 20, 2009

it's calling

The best part about buying a new book is when you put it on the table.. and get this feeling that it's calling you to start reading! I just love how excited that makes me feel.. I can't wait to finish the few pages of the book I am currently reading and start with the new one..

What's even better is when I find the book I want for $10 only instead of $30! There is this book store we have discovered when we first got here -and we call it the basement- I am not really sure if that's the real name or we just made it up.. but it's underground, right next to a train station. It's big and always crowded! I love it.. for me going there feels greater than clothes shopping.


They just told me that my cute funny lovely niece learned a new word.. the words she can say now are probably two or three. So the new word she just added to her vocabulary is 'la2'!!! = 'No'.

The funny part is she keeps saying it.. so whenever my sister calls her or tells her anything, she would look at her and say 'la2'!!

It cracks me up when I imagine her mom in the mall or with friends or relatives trying to make a point and finding touteh so innocently and adorably saying 'la2' out and loud...!!!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

My heart aches...

I have experienced being away for my friend's wedding, and I managed to feel ok about it. But now it's different.. this is a difficult time. A painful horrible time.

I wish I can be with you! I can't remember a time when she was not there .. I can't remember going through anything without her being there for me.. I can't remember the feeling of happiness or sadness without sharing it with her..

She was the one to give me my farewell party, and she was the one to welcome me every time I thought Amman was getting colder not warmer.. She was my source of hope, joy and strength. She was the one to light up the darkness when life was unfair.. when life was cruel, tough and bitter

She was my only comfort in the last couple of months.

She was the one to give up on what's important and to put her friends as the top priority whenever they needed her. And now we are all away!!

I can feel your pain even if I am away. My heart aches for your loss and I am so sad, so very sad! I am hurt, and I am tearful .. even though I am away.

I hope she'll forgive me for being this far at this difficult time..


Did you try this? Is it good/ bad? Does it really work?!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


I have no idea why I find this movie hilarious.. I remember when I started watching it, I thought Im not going to see the end. But then things got funnier and I felt it deserves a chance..

I hate seeing movies more than one time.. but I am ready to see this one again and again and again. To see how people react while seeing it.. it's so different! The idea.. the actress.. the whole thing is just crazy. INSANE!

She's such a character! Absolutely hilarious. The best scenes were of Poppy and her driver instructor.. playing the opposite characters. Her being the optimistic happy Poppy who stays this way regardless of what's happening around her and no matter of all the things that should put a normal person down, and him- the driver- being the person who hates the world and gets angry because of the silliest reasons.
It shows contradictions but in a hilarious way! It has an ironic start with the book 'The Road to Reality'.. and this character being far away from anything that has to do with reality!

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Just Wondering

Have you ever wished to know what will happen next.. ? Did you ever flip through the pages of a novel you're reading just because you wanted to know what happens so badly and didn't want - or didn't have enough patience - to read it word by word/ page by page..

To read the last couple of pages.. know what's hidden but then go back to where you left it and read it slowly..
Wouldn't that be more enjoyable?

I feel Im currently going through this phase..

I want the next two/ three or four years to pass so quickly and to get there.. where I've always wanted to be!