A share of thought...
Sometimes you just feel numb, nothing matters to you anymore, no one really matters...not even life itself. Realizing all of a sudden that you are not only unhappy but lonely too makes things even worse.
And then you'd think of going to a very far place and being alone! Running away was never an option for me but at a certain point it happens that you feel you want to run away from everything and everyone even from yourself.
Getting hurt over and over again makes you feel sick, especially when the ones who are causing this to you should be the closest, most special, and who gets all your attention, love and caring.
Life is funny, people who you care less for are the ones who keeps the smile on your face, yet the ones who you'd give up on the whole wide world for are the ones who hurt you the most. That’s why sometimes it’s better to hide your feelings, keep them inside you and never ever share them.
There were times when you might feel happy, but then again deep inside you you'd be thinking ‘oh it has to end soon, it will end at some point, because happiness always comes to an end.’
A broken heart hurts like no other, you get this feeling of being sick- sick- sick, and then you start to hear all the sad songs and living each one as if it was written and sung just for you- so you end up alone with your collection of sad songs, having all the memories in your head, and wishing you can experience it all again one day…
Living to give, to make people happy, putting all your efforts to please everyone around you and at the end of the day it's then when you realize how much you neglected yourself... it's then when you realize how painful it is, living to give!
Is it because it was your fault you're from the giving type? Who keeps giving and giving and wait for nothing in return… or simply because life is cruel. Life is never fair.
And then people would come and tell you, don’t be sad, when you’re sad you make us sad... so it’s more like an empty loop, you’d just go back again to ‘giving and giving… and neglecting yourself…’
Though one day there will be birds singing again and stars twinkling (this is the dreamy me)... keeping the faith is what makes each and everyone stronger. Not only happiness, sadness has an end too…