The words I've long yearned to HEAR

Whenever you are in a relationship you promise yourself that you'd try your best to draw limits, to create boundaries, not to make the same old mistakes, and to put your effort and energy so that it would work ... and then gradually you get back to the starting point without realising, the point where you take that person for granted.
It's when you go on with using and abusing and deep inside you, you'd know (or think you'd know)- he'd stay there no matter what you do..

The more he gives the more he's taken for granted, the more he reveals his feelings the more arrogant you become... and it's just this way all the time. With time you start to have a dead part inside you that grows... and you reach a level where you just can't show any feelings! You go calm and numb. Sink into a deep silence.

But what annoys the most is when you don't appreciate what's there unless it's gone... when it's too late! when there's no way back.. when it's just impossible...


When you have the person close to you, so close to your heart, you just go blind... all the laughters, the nice unforgettable moments, the shared feelings, the fun, the 'love', the joy and happiness, the sharing, everything turns to something normal.. to 'no big deal' And when it's all gone, then you'd start to value things.. you'd start to have the clear vision and you'd start to blame (him, you, it doesn't really matter...)


It's painful how the words you yearn to hear for so long, can only be heared and read when all the doors to your heart are closed! when they're just sealed...

And you'd be thinking why now? why not then!

You spend lots of time waiting for them to be said, for you to feel appreciated, for you to feel valued, and when those words are finally out... they become like nothing! when it's too late.. it's just too late and you can't look back!

I was once saying goodbye in FRA airport to a very dear friend, someone who made a difference, a print that would last forever, in a really short time, (when we both knew that it's the last time we'll be seeing each other).. as I walked in the other direction to the gate and he was walking to his,,, with all the tears and pain i felt... I never looked back,,, and later he told me how bad he felt as he looked back when I didn't... I said a person has to learn to move on!

Why is it so hard to tell the precious ones what they mean to you when they're still there, when they're loving, when they're giving...?! Why is it that- what's lost matters and what's there is hardly seen?!!

No matter how cold a person can be or can get to be, no matter how dead he is from the inside... this should be learned.. it's considered to be from the basics... make them feel special, give them the credit they deserve as you might never get that chance later, make everyone know how important they are, how much you appreciate them being part of your life at a time when they're still there, not when it's just too late...