Simply ME...

A star or a rainy cloud,,, realistic or a dreamer,,, tough or emotional,,, a butterfly or a dolphin,,, it is all about me reflecting the transparent me!

Monday, April 16, 2007

enough is ENOUGH

I've been home for weeks now,,, living a very ugly boring routine, go to work then come back home, watch tv or read then sleep and work again..

Just sitting, counting the days waiting for something to happen.. living but not enjoying any of it.. it felt more like when you eat good food and you have a cold at the same time.. you keep on eating but without enjoying the taste or the different sweet flavors!

And this is when I felt that im turning to a very annoying bridezilla.. with nothing useful to do but to wait! The only thing that kept me busy was driving everyone around me crazy!

It took me quite a while to realise what im doing to myself and to everyone else! But now that I know, I wish I can change some of the things that i've done, yet Im glad I have sometime to sort some of the damage.
For people who think it's easy, let me tell you that it's not! it's so much pressure, so much tension,,, a seriously complicated mess, so many mixed feelings and weird emotions that sometimes you just can't but blow up. And not to forget the too much excitement which makes you just want to get there as fast as possible.. and of course there's nothing worse than missing loved ones.. this alone makes you numb and sad.

The waiting is bad and the too much worrying annoys,, since I don't have any patience and Im the biggest worrier,, this makes me a uniquely annoying bridezilla!! I admit!

But then two days ago, I thought that this MUST stop. MUST come to an end. I should find a way to get out of what im going through,,, stop this crazy phase and start to act and think rationally... I can't stop my life and wait.. I have to go back to the active D with a busy schedule.

So im back.. and it really feels great to be back! To the positive me.. seeing life with its amazing rainbow colors and all the lovely shades.. but I just want to say sorry to all the people i've hurt!
I get much more hurt when I hurt someone than when I get hurt by someone. Which might be weird yet good because it's then when I know that I need to stop!

There's nothing nicer than the feeling of being active and enjoying life to the fullest,,, to reflect the optimism and positiveness on everyone,,.. now nothing is stopping me! I have something to do every single day and Im getting to enjoy what im doing rather than just waiting till the day ends so that another day would start!

20 Comments:

  • At April 16, 2007 , Blogger O said...

    Tell me about it… Bored of routine, tedious and repetitive days… Thankfully I am still in school, thus, some days are a bit lighter than the others, but I guess one should say HamduliAllah for everything, I mean, don’t you think that in a way when we are under stress, pressure and are pressed for time, due dates and deadlines that we’d wish that the day would be 40 or 50 hours to suffice to do everything we have to do? (Well, some others might hope such days are limited to ONE hour only)…

    I don’t know really, sometimes we enjoy the busy life, but sometimes it gets a bit too much that we’d wish things could go back into being dull and the days being identical, just to relax

    About what you might have did to people around you, I am glad that it is not a case of “damage is already done”, innu as you said it’s somewhat fixable (Thankfully)… By the way, I said ’might’ because sometimes when we look back we think we might have pushed it a bit too far with some people, but on the other hand it might just our consciousness being a tad too regretful or something, hope that made sense…

    It’s good that you realized what is going on, many people (Including me) have NO self-awareness or self-control, so I can say you’re blessed to have that self-directing attributes…

    How to get D back to the ‘busy’ mode? Well, as lame as it sounds, but simply get yourself busy! I don’t know, new activities, go to new places, do stuff you are less likely to have time for after the hotly-anticipated celebration day ;), look, I don’t want to depress you but one would assume that life marriage would be ’somewhat’ different (Sarcasm tab3an), so think 3 years down the line and maybe you will sit down and blog (or vblog, or talk to a robot that will update your virtual 3D profile or whatever, technology and all the crap that comes up everyday) and you will look back at these days and be appalled at the things you could’ve done to keep yourself busy busy busy!

    Hopefully you are on the right track to revive the ‘busy’ lifestyle once again… Don’t push it too much with the business though :P

    whoops... X-large post, eh?

     
  • At April 16, 2007 , Blogger nido said...

    I'm really glad you are out of that phase...wow, you really were stressed out!! Keep it up ya 3arooos, may Allah grant you all the happiness you deserve, and good luck! :DD

     
  • At April 16, 2007 , Blogger Sam said...

    good for u! live everyday to the fullest..:)

     
  • At April 16, 2007 , Blogger PŕōuđPāŀĩ said...

    i c it as a glass getting pretty full it starts overflowing, that u need to drink out a bit of it so u can continue filling it up again. sweet living in abundance can make life boring too at some point, u gotta "sip out" some of it to make way for new exciting sweetness :)

    makes sense willa morning babble lol :flowers: glad ur back bannout, nothing better and easier than having a positive outlook on life. and loool at the piggie pic its so cute! love the way u spice up ur posts by cute pics :D

     
  • At April 16, 2007 , Blogger Tamara said...

    Good for you! try to enjoy each moment : ) besides you will not be single for long so take advantage of that to the MAX : )

     
  • At April 16, 2007 , Blogger and life goes on... said...

    O.. I always say Hamdilla and thank God for everything! Even at the darkest days saying hamdilla was the thing that helped me to go on. Now, I wish the days are only one hour :D LOL And im being extremely busy lately with a new thing to do everyday after work, so yesterday I went to a crazy football game, it was so much fun, and my friends' team won 5/2 so that was AMAZING :) and no it's not an x-large comment :D 3a i7sabek :P

    Sam.. YEAH! waiting SUCKS!

    PŕōuđPāŀĩ... it's really nice what you said! This is exactly how it feels. I need to stop, take a deep breath and then continue :) as you said 'to make way for new exciting sweetness'!!! Makes lots of sense :D

    Isn't it cute.. that piggie? with the semi sad confused look .. HAHAHA

    Tamara.. LOL yeah right! it's the waiting that I don't like though, I guess I have to learn how to be patient ... anyway il 7amdilla 3a everything :)

     
  • At April 16, 2007 , Blogger PŕōuđPāŀĩ said...

    its adowable! glad it made sense, 7asseit 7ali lissa too msa66leh to speak in analogies lol

    ur on the right track bannout, just embrace the changes and know that they lead to something beautiful and u will be fine :)

     
  • At April 16, 2007 , Anonymous jasim said...

    Yeah it is damn annoying I know about that, routine kills me so I am always trying to keep myself busy..

    But it's good to know that you are back to being positive and living life at the max :D

    Keep it up D :D

     
  • At April 16, 2007 , Blogger Gardenia said...

    Keep it up Dima..inshalla the coming days will be better.

     
  • At April 16, 2007 , Blogger Drama Div@ said...

    i had a great weekend! thanks to cikPijah who celebrate her besday yesterday...

    i love party!!!

     
  • At April 16, 2007 , Blogger and life goes on... said...

    PŕōuđPāŀĩ .. lol I liked your 'adowable!' very cute! :D :$

    jasim.. it does!!! I love the ACTION!

    Gardenia.. thank you !

    Drama Div@ .. yeah partying is cool, yesterday while driving with my friends, and hearing some wild songs, we thought we should do that for a change :D

     
  • At April 17, 2007 , Blogger Noura said...

    "Annoying bridezilla" ??? mean ??? You ?? I simply can't beleive it!!!
    You are so sweet all the time,iza haida mean ya reit kil al3alam heik..Just bored and taking it on everybody, it is OK.I think you are surrounded by people who love you and understand what you are going through, so don't worry and be "bad" as much as you want, empty it all now with us,and start your new life all fresh :)

    By the way, how is your tooth doing??

     
  • At April 17, 2007 , Anonymous Maioush said...

    Welcome back DaMdOoM... you are my hero for the day :)
    you know.. when you said that it hurts you much more when you hurt someone than you getting hurt i felt you are talking about me, it's sooooooooooo not weird dear.. my god how much i hate myself when i hurt someone

     
  • At April 17, 2007 , Blogger Dar said...

    Hehe , tab glad its a happy ending bel2a5er :) Good luck inshallah !

    CheeerZ!

     
  • At April 17, 2007 , Blogger and life goes on... said...

    Noura.. your comments always- and I mean ALWAYS- make me smile or even laugh.. today's comment, definitely made me laugh! well thank you.. :D THANK YOU !!!

    Im afraid I can be annoying and mean :$ and get it all out especially on the ones I love the most.. which makes it even harder :$ Im blushing now! LOL but I must admit, that Im good at making it up.. so I guess this helps A LOT ! :$ :$ :$

    My tooth.. it's the only thing that was on my mind for almost a week now, and tomorrow is the day Im afraid. Tell you a secret- I called the dentist to postpone it- and he said NOOooOO! Very tough dentist :S

     
  • At April 17, 2007 , Blogger and life goes on... said...

    Maioush.. I do too! And I became restless, I even find it extremely hard to concentrate.. and I would do anything to change it.. not only say sorry but mean it, and I would say it again and again and again till im forgiven!! I find it even hard to sleep ... I can't sleep knowing that I hurt someone! NO WAY!

     
  • At April 17, 2007 , Blogger and life goes on... said...

    Dar.. LOL mumtaaaaaaaaz inta :P

     
  • At April 17, 2007 , Blogger and life goes on... said...

    nido .. I have no clue why your comment was hiding, and I've just seen it :$ The other day on msn, i was so down, today il 7amdilla im feeling GREAT.. RELLY GREAT! ummm, does it have anything to do with me being a Gemini?!!! LOOL
    *wondering*

     
  • At April 17, 2007 , Blogger nido said...

    where did my comment go?!!? :((( I published it twice, cuz the 1st time i clicked publish before entering my P.W. anyways, good luck in yr dentist app. bokra:))

     
  • At April 17, 2007 , Blogger and life goes on... said...

    nido.. LOOOOOL ma ba3raf keef la'atit-ha! haha

    Thank nido, Im dead scared! :$

     

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