Simply ME...

A star or a rainy cloud,,, realistic or a dreamer,,, tough or emotional,,, a butterfly or a dolphin,,, it is all about me reflecting the transparent me!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

the most depressing 24

Yesterday was a day I definitely don't want to remember or experience ever again.. I don't want to have the same feelings.. I don't want to go through what i've been through! And I don't want to feel useless, helpless and very depressed. I just kept on feeling that it will never get any better,, time wouldn't change things! And when someone loses hope.. then dark would only be seen.

I had the worst 24 hours one can think of or imagine .. ! nothing mattered anymore.. no one really mattered .. and I just wanted to hide.. I didn't feel like talking to anyone! I know that Im depressed when I turn my mobile off or have it on silent.. this is the first depressing signs that I usually get .. and I just wanted to keep it off for weeks!

I was so down to the degree that no matter what happens around me, nothing would make me feel any different! I was just laying down, with my eyes close and open.. falling asleep and waking up with no real track of time.
Less than a week and I will be 25, yet all I felt was numbness ..

It's funny how a simple phone call can shift your mood and make a world of difference,,, it's funny how hearing someone's voice would give you all the strength you lack and more..
It's funny how hearing the caring tone would make you have all the determination you need to start a better day and give you all the positiveness you want to have faith in a better tomorrow.
Im glad I started my day with this phone call.
Sometimes with all the love around you,,, all the support, attention and smiles you'd be getting from the
close ones.. it would still be different.. it wouldn't be so complete! And there would still be the ONE who has it all.. all the answers... the magical touch that wipes away all your pain and misery.

20 Comments:

  • At May 30, 2007 , Blogger Tamara said...

    I'm gald you feel better : ) and you are so rihgt some people do have a majuc wand...

     
  • At May 31, 2007 , Blogger Ammar said...

    Baseeta, the good part about this is that you now know that whenever you reach that point of numbness, instead of turning the phone off..call that person, they'll recharge you with energy to go on.

    and happy birthday..just in case I don't read you on the exact day.

     
  • At May 31, 2007 , Blogger Sabsoub said...

    good that you feel better now. sometimes you just need to hear SABAH AL KHER from one you really love and your day will turn shiny.
    hope all ur days are shiny.

     
  • At May 31, 2007 , Blogger and life goes on... said...

    Tamara .. :) thank you! yeah I believe they do.. lucky ones.. haha

    Ammar.. yeah I was recharged today! HEHE.. it feels great honeslty to be back.. thank you it'll be on Monday :P

    Sabsoub.. you're so right!!! :) thank you, and yours too!

     
  • At May 31, 2007 , Blogger Sam said...

    im glad u r feeling all better now..being depressed is the worst feeling ever...glad that you a got a lift me up phone call:)

     
  • At May 31, 2007 , Anonymous Maioush said...

    I can totally relate to that, the beginning of this month was the worst and the most difficult time of all for me, I was very disappointed in some people around me, and I was feeling so down, and it’s amazing how one caring phone call can flip your mood upside down, how some people have this magical effect on us, and sometimes they don’t even know, god bless you and the people who cares about you, take good care of yourself, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY moqadaman :)

     
  • At May 31, 2007 , Blogger nido said...

    It happens to everyone:) It's ok! I'm glad you are feeling better...A lot of exciting days & moments are ahead...cheer up Dima:) Missed you girl...

     
  • At May 31, 2007 , Blogger and life goes on... said...

    Sam.. :) sitting home with nothing to do is driving me crazy, but im getting better, by next week inshalla i'll be back to driving and all :D

    Maioush.. thank you sweets! im glad it's getting better for you too.. it's funny but for me April was the worst month so far, May was ok but with lots of action and unpredictable things.. and surprises! both good and bad.. but then June is my birthday month, haha so akeed I like! time is flying .. mush ma3'oul!.. ;)

    nido.. missed you too :$ im getting better nido.. the action will start next week and will continue till July inshalla :) guess meen arrab yeejy? haha .. ma dallelek ishy nido :P

     
  • At June 01, 2007 , Anonymous bara2 said...

    do u know what i like in ur writings the most?? they are so real .. they reflect the reality and who u are .. i like the fact that u start talking in a depress tone and then u change the mood toward the end .. this is so positive .. keep it up ...
    God bless u :)

     
  • At June 02, 2007 , Blogger and life goes on... said...

    bara2.. now im blushing :$ thnk you :D

     
  • At June 02, 2007 , Blogger SS said...

    Yeah I know how that feels, I guess everyone gets depressed every now and then. I had a REAL bad day yesterday, I just wanna pull my hair out at how frustrated and helpless I was to the train of events that led to the big disaster :(

    And I didn't get that phone call from Nimer to cheer me up! Why Nimer why?! :*( hehe it usually doesn't take a lot to turn that frown upside down, a phone call, good news, the right words, time, money. There's always something that makes you get back up on that horse and keep going :)

     
  • At June 02, 2007 , Anonymous Rebellious Arab Girl said...

    I know exactly how you feel.. also happy early birthday.. 25 is a big year! :)

     
  • At June 02, 2007 , Blogger and life goes on... said...

    Rebellious Arab Girl.. haha!! YEAH, for me - it is for sure.. thank you !! :)

     
  • At June 02, 2007 , Blogger and life goes on... said...

    SS.. LOOOL! how did you know it was Nimer?! :P maybe yes.. maybe no!! hahaha

    Im a Gemini, so you can imagine- my mood changes so many times in one hour! I get mad easily but my frown can be switched to a big smile in no time..

    I hope your today was better than yesterday.. :)

     
  • At June 02, 2007 , Blogger SS said...

    hahaha well then I'm 100% certain it was him :P

    and yeah today was better thanks, but I reckon it'll be a while before I forget that day!

    The worst feeling ever is when you get the feeling of being powerless to an event that you can't erase or make right. Or when you realise something and can't get your mind off it, like drowning in a sea of misery and needing something to carry you out :S

    On a side note you seem to be into astrology eh? Have you ever done a full astrological map, like your rising sign, moon sign and where the planets were at your time of birth? It can be quite insightful. Also that new astrology book with the west and chinese signs is quite good too ;)

     
  • At June 02, 2007 , Blogger and life goes on... said...

    SS ... events are hard to erase but they just can be replaced! This is how I see it.. So good luck in replacing that one ;)

    Yeah I guess I am ! I can say that s/he a Gemini the minute I meet one,, I know leos too, and im good with all the horoscopes that im familiar with... No, i've never done that but I think it'd be interesting since my birthday is coming soon! HAHA

     
  • At June 04, 2007 , Blogger SS said...

    Well hehe my astrological chart is very tricky apparently. you could never guess what I am unless you cheated by finding out my bday.

    http://www.astrowin.org/astro_sw.htm

    theres a few programs there, try em out. what you need is your birthdate, time of birth (like what time in hours and minutes) and also the place of birth as well. I think I have better ones myself but those are the ones you can get for free.

     
  • At June 04, 2007 , Blogger and life goes on... said...

    SS.. in hours and minutes!! ummm.. this is HARD! my mom is not sure about the hour, let alone the minutes!.. so it's a hopeless case! HAHA.. but I like those things! so if you're good with all that you should say what do you know about Geminis?!

    you.. December?

     
  • At June 05, 2007 , Blogger SS said...

    hehe no not december, thats wayyy off :P

    you dont really need the exact time of birth, thats for your rising sign which is actually quite important, some say more than your sun sign. you can still do the others though. the reason they want the time is cuz if a planet moved from sign to sign on the day of birth.

     
  • At June 05, 2007 , Blogger and life goes on... said...

    SS .. too bad :( it's hard to guess since i don't know you in person :P

     

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