D I S T A N C E

Many people were disappointed that I am back, this far, and this absent from whatever is happening back there.
I got this message from a very dear person, saying that he's mad at me cause 'they are losing me'.. and deep inside I know that many others feel the same way, even if they don't say it this bluntly.

But then it hit me.. I wrote back saying that by being away I can miss and love them back more. Cause I lived the life where I was there yet I was down. And couldn't be part of their lives.. couldn't enjoy what was happening, so I hated myself for that. I was aggressive, unhappy and very lonely even with them around. I felt there is a change in me.. but I don't know why or how did I reach that level of being so indifferent. I had mixed confusing inner conflicts.. I was close yet I felt so far...

I can only be happy for others and be myself again when I am happy. And the answer for that does not necessarily mean by being close. Distance is not everything. For all those who are away now and feel they're missing what's happening back there.. distance is not everything.