It's the Beginning

I had a tough emotional day at work! I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I didn't imagine it would be this hard.. I started to clean up my things, and to put away my pink funky glittery long pens... the bling bling mugs and all the mess! And of course my Kenya- nescafe mug.

I decided to send a farewell e-mail to my LH colleagues all over the world- to let them know that my last day at work would be wednesday the 20th of June and that they can contact me at my personal e-mail. I didn't expect all the deeply touching e-mails I got, I had goose bumps while reading some.. and I was close to tears.
I have a mixture of different feelings,,, it's extremely sad to leave after 3 years. I don't deny that there were many times when I felt frustrated, down and mad at things but now as Im leaving I cant remember anything other than the good times and the precious moments I've spent there.

Coming Wednesday, I know it will be harder.. I can't imagine passing by later on and seeing someone else using my computer, my chair, my desk! And I can't imagine how painful it would be to give the place one last look before I leave.

My colleagues at work are getting me a farewell gift, and It just feels weird as I still remember a year ago - us doing the same thing to a colleague who left to the States. Back then I had no idea that a year after -it will be my turn. It affects me so deeply hearing the words 'you will be terribly missed'!.

My weakness point is my sensitivity! Being too emotional is something I wish I can change!
I look back at the past three years and think of how different I've become,,, of all the experiences I gained,, all the friendships I've made,,, and all the travelling I did! I look back and feel proud of who I am today, and how far I've come. The responses I got after announcing my resignation makes me realise that those past three years will be remembered not only by me, but by everyone who knew me and was part of them..
I look at my LH ID, LH business card, uniform, certificates,,, and I smile.. as Im moving forward with all the positivenss.. knowing that It's the beginning for me and a new bright start.

it's just too weird!!

I've been listening to some of the wedding planners' ideas for weddings they have planned for and are proud of .. I've seen some photos today, and all I can say is that people seriously have DIFFERENT tastes. It seems what I consider as unthinkable, silly and way too bizzare is seen for others as unique, creative and lovely.

I was shocked from some of the photos I've seen,,, I was surprised from some of the ideas that were applied.. and I was just thinking did those couples seriously believe that this is 'creativity'!

Im not with the too simple, but again Im not with the odd! If you want a unique thing then come up with something different but that doesn't have to look as if it's from another planet! You don't have to be an alien.

Two brothers getting married on the same day and having one wedding is a little bit weird, let alone having them seated in two nests! So the two nests were next to each other, surrounded by trees with the sounds of singing birds in the background... I personally think it's just too weird.. and not even cute!

Im not against choosing a theme, but it would be more special when it has something to do with the couple's story! I can't see a point in having a snow theme when the weather is just too hot..
I just don't see anything special in having the bride and groom sitting with a Buddha in the middle,,, a Buddha on every single table, and given to every single guest! This is what I see as STRANGE in an ugly way!

I don't enjoy seeing the couple perform, and I can't think of how dull would it be for people to watch the groom coming out from Aladdin's magical lamp! Maybe for some people it's fun, and maybe Im just too classical, but I wouldn't really enjoy putting up a performance! And I wouldn't enjoy watching one!

Creativity lies in being natural.. in being you ! No need to be creative in an odd -unacceptable way.. people are coming to share your happiness and they expect to share it with YOU.. not with someone who's performing on a stage! You are a star on your day so there's no need to ruin it with such crazy -too weird- ideas!

Finally... It's happening!

A day in the pool! I still can't believe I waited all the time till June to do it.. every year It would be early April by max.
I was going from one place to another this week, having this crazy schedule and making sure that everything is on time and as planned.. as much as It was tiring Im glad I'll have the day to relax tomorrow.. I need it so badly!

I've heared that people who live near the beach are warmer, and have better moods..
I have no clue why It just makes me happy and so excited.. a day in the pool, under the burning sun ! With all the heat and dizziness.. and all the burns I get later on.. I still consider it relaxing!

It's the only time I can close my eyes and block all thoughts, and think of nothing at all.. it's the time when I can chose my dreams ...
I can't wait !

a touch of MAGIC

wouldn't it look NOT OK in the photos I'd do my own makeup! Im fed up with people who think they're 'experts' when they know nothing at all.
And Im tired of telling people how to do my own makeup.. and sick of them not listening !
I know my face more than you do, I know what looks best, what shades to chose, what looks good and what looks odd.. I know what colors to avoid and I know for a fact that I hate the 'too much GLITTER!'

Can't they do a makeup with little or no glitter!!! What's wrong with looking simple!!! Looking simple nowadays means all shades of colors mixed with all the glitter in the world!
What's shocking is that those makeup experts don't know that eyes come in different shapes... and that doing something that looks good on someone doesn't necessarily mean that this same thing would look good on me!

I don't want to look in the mirror and say who is this person!!! And this is exactly what's happening.. I just want to look myself.. makeup doesn't mean to walk around with a mask.. it doesn't mean a total change of features!

Makeup should bring out the natural features ..
It is to add a touch of magic, brightness, and freshness.. ! Why is 'the simple' too complicated!?

Where to start!?!

Have you ever known the feeling of having so many things to do but not knowing from where to start!?!? Im going through this phase where I just don't know from where to start..

and now I have a very famous sentence that I keep saying 'since all brides always get so busy in the final weeks -whether they started with planning for things earlier or they don't- i'd rather leave it all to the end !!!

I know exactly what I need to do, and I know how much time there's left.. yet i keep thinking it's still too early! i'll do it later!! And I know for a fact that I'll reach this point where there will be no later and I'll start to regret it, yet with all this im still in the same place!... the more I postpone the more I feel im behind but this doesn't make me move any further...

I am on a sick leave yet Im not using this time to get things done.. I've never been this lazy! It's just the thought that there are plenty of things to do freaks me out.. !!! I need a miracle I guess to finish them all by the end of this month.. time flies and I thought I will get it all done and have extra time to relax... it seems I'll just have to hope all things will be done and I'll give up on the thought of the extra time to relax... !

4th of June!! D's DAY

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

on the 4th of June 2006, I was flying back home from Germany to spend that day with my friends and family! This year Im lucky to be here.. and since there's no better time to spoil myself more than today.. I spent yesterday shopping! Im the birthday girl after all..

This birthday is different, it's the 25! And it's the last one to be spent with my loved ones .. and this year is different.. 2007 is still smiling for me ! Next year it'll be me and my hubby,,, and a start of a new life.

4th of June is my day.. ! Happy Birthday to ME!


UPDATED:

Here is the cake!!

keep it up!!!

I like people whom I deal with to be open and honest,, to share their inner thoughts and feelings, and I find it really hard to deal with ones who just hide it all,, I can't communicate with people who hide behind masks. Maybe because I just can't hide anything - or at least not for so long. If Im mad, no matter how hard I try, I ALWAYS show it.. i don't wait for a long time, because for me - it's just like this -the more I wait the worse it gets.

This shouldn't necessary be the right way, or the best way to deal with things .. and because of that it caused me so many problems,,, it was the reason behind the fact that close friends got mad at me at times.. made me lose some old friendships,,, but It's just me.. I say what's there the minute it happens, and no matter how much would that hurt, I'd rather say it LOUDLY and BLUNTLY.

If I got irritated by something or someone ,, nothing would stop me from expressing the way I feel .. no matter how huge the damage would be, I'd rather let it all out and be relieved..

When it comes to blogging though, I believe a person can't say everything. I just can't talk about things freely, and although I insisted on not attending any of the bloggers meetings that happened over the past year or so -I attended few before starting blogging but stopped the minute I started- so that it wouldn't affect the way I write or the way I express things (as that means losing the whole point from starting my own blog), but still with all that.. there are many times when I feel there are so many things that should not be blogged.
The more the readers are.. the less there would be to share!

As much as I believe that I will never be able to blog about certain things,
as much as I admire people who have courage to do so.
I admire people who write about a past personal story,,, I admire people who are not afraid to share a bad painful experience,,, I admire people who are not ashamed of a dark yesterday...
Your stories might inspire others ,, they might be a wake up call for someone,, they can give a weak soul strength by knowing that there are people who suffer- suffered or still suffering -too,, and might help someone in making a brave decision,,, a hard choice or simply help in creating a critical turning point.
Don't be shy.. don't hesistate.. don't think twice.. just keep it up!!!