fear & anger - a thought

Fear leads to anger... which leads to more fear, and then more anger

When you doubt someone's intentions and fear him for the pain he might cause to both of you.. you'd find yourself unconsciously building solid walls for protection.
Anger helps to make the walls grow bigger, higher, and firmer. It strengthens the desire for more and more protection..

But the anger produces more fear and the cycle never breaks as the source of fear stays alive .. fear-anger-fear-anger and so on..

Staying CONNECTED

I remember how the 'BlackBerry' used to cause many arguments back at university.. in fact one of the lecturers did many studies related to this subject and to the main concept of staying connected.
While some people think it would add to the efficiency and the productiveness of companies, others find it an annoying way to deprive employees from their privacy and creativity.

I was at a friend house yesterday, and they were talking about how hard it is not to have internet. Her husband spent the whole time checking whether the internet is back.. and they were disconnected for two days only!
But why to find this surprising, when I make hotel bookings depending on the availability of free internet.. when I pay more for the ticket and insist on a specific airline just to have business lounge access to get the free internet.. when I prepare my laptop bag before any other bag.
I think it's not only about having internet access, it's more about being connected.
The need to feel you're connected anytime anywhere.. it provides a sense of security.

Last time I tried the online check-in and it was a disaster! You expect to get speed and convenience.. but I couldn't find any of that for the simple reason that the queue was much longer than the queue for the normal check-in. People are all aware of this service, they all want to try, but it's no longer fast when no one is using the old way and the counters are not enough to serve everyone.

I keep thinking about the time we didn't have internet... how did we spend our days? I bet we had plenty of extra time!

I hate flying/ packing/ saying goodbyes.. etc

There was a time when I used to get so excited when traveling. Flying in particular used to give me a feeling of freedom.. of joy. But now it's just the opposite.. I hate travel agents, packing, planning a trip, moving from one country to another and all the accompanying emotions and preparations. 

Last time I was flying back from Dubai with my sister, and it was so bumpy with a small flight where you get to feel the slightest thing. It was the first time for me to fly back with a fever, and the shitty weather did not help at all. The last time I flew with my sister was 10 years ago or more!

The time before that it was again that long annoying flight.. with the emergency unexpected transit in Kuala Lumpur. I no longer have a dream of becoming a pilot, in fact I feel sorry for pilots now..

Traveling for me is no longer for fun.. it's more like a must! I want to stay on ground.. I want stability and security more than anything in this world.

Roller Coaster

There are stuff that are hard to accept even when you expect them to happen.

Life is a roller coaster.. I wish mine was more neutral. The ups and downs are so close that I don't get to feel the 100% happiness when things are good... ups and downs often come in pairs.
There is always something to worry about.. a thought or a sad memory in the background. I might be a worrier.. but I was not born like that.
The ups and downs are so close that while I can't sleep from the happiness, I find it hard to sleep next day from misery.
Certain talks are always in the memory, along with certain events. I wish I can just wipe the bad ones and keep the good.

While yesterday I experienced an exceptional type of joy, Im finding myself today going through mixed sad emotions.. Or maybe it shouldn't be as hard because it's the last damn painful thing that can happen!

Can a 3 minutes' incident turn all the feelings and emotions upside down.. I guess it can! They change everything so fiercely and instantly that you no longer know where you stand or where's your ground. Im leaving the next step to people who like planning.. people who live to plan thinking that the plan is the future with no God in charge. Im leaving them for their plans .. but this would no longer affect me, cause I will always be the one with no plan, but with a faith in a God that is there to help me with whatever life throws my way..

when hope ends...

Love dies when hope ends

I believe it's true.. if you are a hopeful person then you would be living this whenever you are in love, or 'you think you're in love!'

Hope comes in different shades.. we hope we meet the right person, after this comes true.. we hope that this person is the one, then we hope that things change.. and love grows.. we hope to overcome all obstacles and difficulties... we hope that tough times bring us closer.. we hope that the dark clouds leave our skies.. we hope that people leave us alone.. we hope that separation makes us appreciate each other more.. we hope that life makes our paths cross again.. we hope that the nice memories live forever and be a reason for creating yet better and more precious moments.. we find a way to live the hardest times by keep hoping.

Through out the whole process, love would still be there. It would only die when hope ends.. and when this happens there will be no going back. As a new stronger hope replaces it... with new horizons, different attributes and equations.

I can't make myself stop!

I've been thinking about it a lot lately.. to blog or not to blog. And then my desire to keep this blog alive was stronger and I thought that just like when I started this blog a few years ago.. I have the same attitude, 'I simply Don't Care'.

Surprisingly, I don't just miss posting, I also miss getting all the comments!

And now I can't seem to make myself stop.. the start is always hard, the easy part is yet to come!

I want...

.... so badly!!!

Ineresting- Need a Fresh Start?

The world's friendliest countries based on the HSBC Bank International's Expat Exploreer Survey, ranks Canada as the most welcoming, followed by Germany and then Australia.




The United Arab Emirates was found to be the most difficult for expats, along with China and India- all due to cultural differences. And the U.S. ranks sixth among the 14 nations surveyed.

In Depth: World's Friendliest Countries
1- Canada
2- Germany
3- Australia
4- U.K.
5- India
6- U.S.
7- Hong Kong
8- Spain
9- France
10- Netherlands
11- China
12- Belgium
13- Singapore
14- United Arab Emirates

Source: Forbes.com

I am in CHARGE!

For the first time I feel in charge. Not only of my laptop but of backing it up too!
I love my G-Drive as much as I love my laptop.. and it's mine! It's fast, and very convenient.

It made me rearrange everything on my laptop, all the messy folders, and duplicate photos. I can't believe the amount and size of the photos I have. But I don't have to worry about this anymore.. My laptop is back to being super fast.. thanks to my new G-Drive.

And I can't but admire its cute little black case. Now I feel like traveling only to take my new cute kit with me!!

The Jacuzzi Incident

Funny things keep happening, I guess life has a way to make us smile all the time. The Kempinski Dead Sea is a place I would never want to revisit for many reasons. Though I must admit that the timing is something I could have managed.. the timing was really bad.

Something really funny happened in the indoor spa. The jacuzzi there is a total nightmare.. I have never seen anything like that. It has this strange power of pulling people down. Seriously! I was about to get drown in a jacuzzi!!
It would be the most bizarre incident EVER. Not only that but as I started to swallow water and yell, the life guard took off his shirt and was about to jump and rescue!!!

Thank God, I managed to get out alone. But it was so embarrassing! I gave the life guard a reason to keep laughing forever I guess. And it got worse when he asked if I know how to swim!

It was bad!

Did things really change?

I go back and read stuff that I wrote long time ago, and it still amuses me.. I feel as if I am reading them for the first time. It's so impressive.. especially those funny incidents which used to happen from time to time.. I miss the working days! I miss all the funny unexpected stuff or when things went wrong all of a sudden.. a late flight, a foggy weather, a mad passenger.

And once again I feel that I have to find my thing.. my world.. my place

Did things really change? Did I lose the ability to write.. to share? I guess not. Having an encrypted diary is one thing, but having a blog is another. And for me it is still pink and welcoming.

I will be back to blogging. It took me a while to find my way back, but here I am on the right track once more.. I miss blogging, and I miss all the excitement I used to feel from thinking about what I should post, when and what photo should go with each post.


I have so many things to blog about. And Im super excited! Really!